Saturday, April 26, 2008

MARTIAN MATERIALS: AN ARGUMENT

.

Ming complained.

If I'd put the duvets in suitcases under the bed - our clothes wouldn't have been transported to Mars.
So I said - I didn't think of it.
and
I'm frightened of suitcases.
Then I asked why he needed so many skins of the kind we humans wear.

Ming said - For the prisoners.
It was a late delivery.

It was supposed to have arrived on Monday; Tuesday at the latest.



I shivered.

(Martian White with a Twist of Lime. Is that what Amy said . . . ?)

"So - all the prisoners are from Mars?"

Ming said - Only some. But their disguises are wearing out.

I asked (very unpleasantly - and I apologised later) - why they hadn't been provided with stronger ones?

His reply was long and rambling - and not entirely to the point.

(He got carried away.)

(He thought I was claiming human superiority.)

(!)

It was interesting though.

Human skins are fragile. They tear easily. What right did I (a human) have to criticise Martian textiles?

Humans lose their luggage nearly every time they fly anywhere. Why did I think it would be different in space?

Humans haven't thought of Sock-Power.

Earth has a 'Shoot-To-Kill-If-You-See-An-Alien' policy. That's why Martians have to wear disguises. (Did I want him killed?)


(This was the worst argument we'd had since the one about tomato seeds at the Garden Centre.)
And (finally) if he hadn't chosen such a good disguise I might not have agreed to marry him.

Initially, I thought this was rather romantic - and I smiled.

Afterwards, I wasn't sure.


SHOPPING LIST
Pappadums (three packets)
Washing powder
Eggs
Sharp sand
Onions
Ten five-inch clay pots
A tin of Tuna
Potting compost.

NOTE
Find out if Ming Porcelain Day Lilies (as recommended by Melanie!) can be ordered from the Garden Centre.


The temperature is rising. It's gonna be a hot day.

_____

8 comments:

garden girl said...

Esther, I love the new illustrations in your sidebar.

I'm sorry about the argument. Not many things cause me more stress than arguing with my Martian.

Amy said...

LOL! I'm honoured to be mentioned in one of your posts.

Some cosmetics company here has the slogan, "learn to love the skin you're in." I hope you and Ming can make up after your big fight and that you'll learn to love the skin *he's* in!

easygardener said...

It's taken a couple of days to get from post 1 to 68 but I'm up to speed now.
I did wonder if they have pets on Mars - a green cat would be rather nice.

Esther Montgomery said...

Garden Girl - Oh! I expect it'll be alright.

You talk about your Martian - but I don't think you have ever mentioned what planet you are from . . . ?

Esther

Esther Montgomery said...

Amy - you've given me an idea - do you think Ming should take up modeling?

Esther

Esther Montgomery said...

Easygardener - I'm so chuffed that you've read all the way through!

That gives me rather a lot to live up to!

I'll ask Ming if they have cats on Mars.

I suppose it depends a lot on what kind of trees they have.

I've just had another idea.

Perhaps I should get Ming to do a 'Guest Post'?

I'll give it some thought!

Esther

Melanie said...

Hi Esther, just checking in to make sure you aren't out riding about in a suitcase. If my reckoning is correct (shouldn't all Americans use the word "reckoning"?) you missed a day today.

Actually, since I have that horrendous New York city accent I can't say that I've ever used the word "reckoning" while speaking but I'm sure you don't mind. Hope everything is ok and it's just my clock that's a bit off and not your posting.

Esther Montgomery said...

No posts missing, Melanie.

(Unless the labeling has gone adrift?)

I'm looking forward to finding out whether the garden centrecan order 'Ming Porcelain' for me.

Esther

P.S. Not that I guarentee never to 'miss' a day. I mean - sometimes - I may want to visit my 'in-laws'!
E.M.

P.P.S. I didn't know Americans are reputed to say 'Reckoning'. A bit like the English being expected to say 'Actually', actually - I expect!
E.