I CONFESS IGNORANCE: MING WORRIES FOR THE FIRST TIME: AND THE BEST WAY TO GERMINATE RUNNER BEAN SEEDS (PERHAPS!)

Ben Perkis has taken the over-use of adverbs by the scruff of the neck and has transformed it into a creative and humorous art form.

Here's one of his 'poems':-

Easily he played the game
And winningly he won.
Clappingly the people clapped
And my mate's a Hun.

I wish I were able to tackle difficult tasks so boldly!

I don't know the sex of our children (still!) - but I'm embarrassed to ask.

It wasn't until late last night that I plucked up courage to tell Ming about Mrs Rustbridger seeing the washing machines.

We were in bed. Ming sat up; alarmed.

"Then she knows!"

I told him not to shout.

I also said I too had been wondering about them. What they are for?

"What are they for?"

For a moment, he was puzzled.

"What d'you think they're for?"

"I don't know."

(I was beginning to feel miserable.)

"Washing, of course!"

Then, he went to sleep.

(At least, he shut his eyes.)

I've planted runner bean seeds in pots and left them in the garden.

Ming says Miss Martin says they do better if you start them early - but slowly. She says it's better than putting them in the airing cupboard.

(Since when has she been our 'Gardening Expert'?)

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For Tomorrow

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